When I was in college I had one of the most memorable dreams of my whole life and it involved a ninja kangaro-like battle of epic proportions. So here is how it went down: In my dream, I am sleeping in a college dorm room in one of those ridiculous-to-find-sheets-that-fit XL beds and there are blankets and papers everywhere. So I wake up, look down, and whose ugly mug do you think I'm staring at? Yep, that guy right up there. So how do I react you may ask? Did I scream like a little girl, reach for some Mace, try and get away? Obviously we don't know each other well enough yet. I reacted more like this guy http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/asia/article5875004.ece as if I had discovered a crazed ninja kangaroo in my sleeping quarters. I punched him square in the mouth, this led to a traditional television kerfuffle where we spiraled onto the floor seeing who would end up on top. Obviously I did, I pinned him and just started wailing on him. Somehow he pushed me off of him and he started to get away, I grabbed him by the ankle and pulled him back for another beating as I said, "I don't think so *expletive*". Eventually he did get away and I chased after him until I caught a glimpse of him scrambling over a fence. Of course I didn't need to scramble over the fence like a little kitten. I supermanned over that thing in true Dean Caine fashion. As I slow-mo flew over the fence I yelled out, “You didn’t really think you were getting away that easily did you?” as I nailed the landing. I then grabbed him in a sleeper hold and dragged him back into the yard. Don’t worry, he got away and was just fine, it was just a dream. That being said, I think I did my part for womanhood everywhere is standing up to that jackass. You’re welcome.
No comments:
Post a Comment